(no subject)

[gwenfrankenstien]

cereta has brought back my favouritest meme ever, the one where you talk to fandoms as if they are (ex)partners and people have to guess who they are! I don't even know why I find this so much fun, all it really does is establish that I have an abusive relationship with fiction.

1. I'm surprised so few of my friends know you, since your dad is kind of geek royalty. Of course, when we met I was too young to know that, or to care. You're silly and comfortable, like a childhood friend should be. I know we don't talk much any more, but trust me, I still love you!

2. I was young and vulnerable and you sucked me in with your wacky-but-fascinating conspiracy theories. You were emotionally abusive, withholding information. People tell me you've matured. It'd be kind of nice to see you again, even if it's just to find closure. You wanna meet up during the summer?

3. You were a childhood friend, and then we met again when I was a bit older. Man, I was crazy about you! It was like we had our own private language. I wanted to know everything about you. ...Then we kinda drifted apart, through no fault of yours. I'm still kind of sorry about that.

4. I don't know if I can even explain how much I love you. You're gorgeous and brilliant, not to mention funny. We've only had one minor argument in just over a year (has it really been only one year?). I've introduced you to all my friends. Even my parents like you! I don't think you could BE more perfect, honestly.

5. You seemed so cool and edgy when I was, like, fourteen, with your dark magic and your cool tattoos. Sometimes I forget how much I still love you, and then you call me and we talk for a while and I'm giddy and fourteen all over again. I even start forgiving you for all the really weird, fucked-up shit you've done. (I think it's better for both of us if we forget the thing with the monkey, though.)

6. We'd known each other for a while, but (I'm ashamed to say) I only really became attracted to you once you got all popular. You're smarter than a lot of your new friends give you credit for, though. I mean, sure, your makeover was gorgeous, but I think I like the old you better.

7. Oh, YOU. I thought this was just a passing thing.... That was four years ago. I've put up with shit from you that I'd never take from anyone else. I've spent way, way too much time complaining about you to my friends. But when things are good, they're so, so good. I think it's safe to say I'll never give up on you, even if it seems like everyone else has.

8. Hi, you! You run in the same circles as 4, and when 4 introduced us I wasn't sure if we'd get along. But then we spent that weekend together, which was kind of like spending a weekend with a mild hallucinogenic. I woke up starving, filthy, covered in cat hair and happier than I'd been in months. Thank you!

9. We were together for a long time, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you. But I've changed a lot since we first met, and you're still doing the same things. It was cute, back in the day, but I expect more from you now, you know? You showed such potential, and then slid right back into old habits the next day.

10. We had some fun, but in all honesty I'm glad I left when I did. Your friends just keep getting crazier and crazier. Everything I loved about you is gone, and you've made it pretty clear you don't want me back, anyway. I hear you've found religion now? I hope that works out for you, but I'm still staying the fuck away.